I think i peed on brittanys purse
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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