I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everyone is single if you try hard enough
there was a trapeze. enough said
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
