What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
