He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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