it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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