i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
