You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
