If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
