I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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