You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize