After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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