just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
