I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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