There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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