i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize