my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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