But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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