i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
