I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
