She's JV to your varsity
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
