Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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