I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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