just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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