Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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