just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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