I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
