singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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