if i can run in heels then i can drive
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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