Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
