Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
