just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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