Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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