question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
