Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this just has baby written all over it
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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