The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
