i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
