My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
