It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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