I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
