She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we're making bets on your personal life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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