she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i out mim tonsoeep
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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