well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
