Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
