im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
