I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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