I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
