Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
