I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
