the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
