my vag is so smooth its legendary
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
