She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize