We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
