happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
