I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
