i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
