youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
