Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize