so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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