How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
