I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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