the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
