We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
