Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize